You just had to be there

April 25, 2019 – I am on my way to Boot Camp Northwest. I am coming to this camp because a dear friend asked me to go and because of John Eldredge. His books, Waking the Dead in particular, have been very influential to me in my journey back to God. I never fell away so to speak, but for many years I lived a veiled half-life. God was just my job, and I wasn’t very good at it. My life was full of self and not much else. God deserved more, but I was blind to it all. Then, I read Waking the Dead. Exploding off the pages was my story, my longing and the search for my heart was launched.

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Honestly, I am thankful that you were too young (or, sorry Bro, not even born yet) to have known what my faith was like at the time I was referring to in that journal entry. I would say I drifted away from a closeness I had with God at an earlier point in my life, but truthfully, I had never loved God with my whole heart. My faith was a lot of doing and not much being. Satan had me right where he wanted me. I was disconnected from God, going through the motions. I was torn apart by the fact that I was trying to live two very different lives. In the process my heart was obliterated. To understand it fully you probably just had to be there. But listen Son, as you seek to serve God, avoid the pitfalls of routine. You should be more in awe of God every day of your life. Don’t pursue Him so much with your mind that you leave your heart behind. Life came full circle for me. By the grace of God, I consider myself blessed.

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